Pulp Free

I love hot dogs. I’ve tried them all. Well - almost all of them. Honestly - probably not a lot of them. But I know what I like and you can forget about “franks”. Turkey, pork and chicken? That’s not what a hot dog make. I’ve pretty much settled on Oscar Mayer’s Beef dogs for the most part. But that’s the the root of this story. (By the way… Wrangler’s beef hot dogs are probably my favorite… But I LOVED Frank n’ Stuff hot dogs as well… it’s just that I can’t find them any more! You know the ones with processed chili actually in the middle of the hot dog! Hmmmm.) But I digress.

This is what I’m talking about:

The Hot Diggity Dogger. Mmmmmmm (Say it with me… Mmmmmmmm). I first saw this wonderful, most useful invention like most people did… In the airline shopping catalog that you thumb through while waiting to take off. Hammacher Schlemmer offered it first - but you can find them in a few other places… (Don’t mistake this with the Wal-Mart knock offs…)

I was young enough at the time that I had to have my mom order it… Whew… That was a long time again! But I bugged her and bugged her. And with a rattling of her credit card number and $50 out of my allowance, it was ordered! Days… then weeks… Then Mr. UPS arrived (back then I thought UPS only delivered at Christmas…) and I was truly in business. Opening up the box and tossing out the styrofoam peanuts, I knew next what had to be done…

With two hot dogs and two buns I ended having the best hot dogs ever. Now granted - it’s really a glorified bread toaster - but they always came out just right. Far better than nuking them in the microwave (though not quite a good as grilling them outside…).

Unfortunately - as a matter of faith in my finance - I left that poor dogger for dead when I moved into our new house. Something about her kitchen gadget phobia I was able to break her of. Well… thanks for the memories my fabled friend. May others enjoy your delicious delicatessen as I once knew you for.

(Some details have been slightly modified and enhanced for no apparent reason. I mean - c’mon… It’s a hot dog!)

Regina Spektor came across my ears probably a few years ago but the memory of her music faded until I came across her again with the release of her latest album “Begin To Hope“. One of the songs from that album “On The Radio” presents itself as my current catch tune that I can’t get out of my head. With the basis as a singer-songwriter, I believe that Regina definitely has a unique sound and presence that sets her apart from the the mostly cloned music on the radio. Of course, it’s hard for me to quantify “radio music” any more as I couldn’t tell you the last time I listened to the radio. (NPR perhaps… or XM in the car…)

In any case - check out Regina’s Web site for a few of her videos as well… Including “Us”. Creative indeed. You may also wish to browse some of her historic background and discography on Wikipedia…

Regina Spektor - On The Radio - (Song Sample)

While taking in my daily RSS feeds, I came across a post from Matthew Mullenweg linking over to another Web post describing one of the better forms of communicating technical information to end users. A few months ago I read (also from a post on Matt’s site) about a hosting company called Media Temple that was developing a new way of large scale Web hosting based on GRID computing.

As an enterprise applications architect for a large financial company, I’ve primarily concerned myself with designing application hosting platforms that focus on scalability, availability and management automation. We started with 10 servers and 1 application and are now hosting 200+ servers with 170+ applications. I’ve been fairly successful with our designs and configuration for the last 6 years - but one thing that always seems to be a problem is diagnosing our failures, communicating collectively our direction for change and then implementing quickly. Sure, part of that is directly related to “big business”. There are a lot of dependencies, regression testing and risk assessment with any of our changes that essentially slow down our process… That’s why it was refreshing to read a public discussion from Media Temple that outlined their problems in an understandable way, explain why they made the choices that they did, develop a solution to fix it, and set an implementation date for completion.

Now granted, Media Temple is in the business to make money. Obviously they had to deliver a method of hosting that kept them competitive in a saturated hosting environment, provide trust for their customers, and shrink their time to market… But I was most impressed with how they communicated their assessment of their strategy. Too may times changes just happen… good or bad… and the end user just scratches their heads and assumes you know what you’re doing. Clearly one thing that annoys me more than anything else is not change - but lack of communication. I like to feel involved. I want to know what’s going on.

While I was curious about MT’s technology a few months ago and even thought about moving my own hosting to their services, it’s nice to know that MT takes is very seriously when it comes to their technology platform and does a fantastic job with their communications.

I’m actually a few days behind on watching the new season of American Idol, but because I’ve been a TiVo junkie for longer than I can remember - I had the privilege and honor of blooka blooking through the ramblings of the first 4 hours in about 30 minutes. Now those of you that know me, know that I’m an Idol fanatic. Not so much of the first parts of the season… I’d rather see when the contestants get to Hollywood and the show really starts. However, I snagged a brilliant moment on the second day of Seattle when a terrible, terrible contestant named “Red” wanted Simon Cowell to offer him singing lessons… It went a little something like this:

Red: If you think you’re so ******* damn hot, step up and coach me!

Simon: I wouldn’t. It would be like coaching a one-legged man to win the 100 meter sprint. I mean, I may be a great coach but if you haven’t got it, you haven’t got it.

Red: Don’t sing about it, be about it. Don’t sing it, bring it. A’right?

Simon: I’m not being rude…

While I almost agree with the fun loving dribble of what drops out of Simon’s mouth from a musical background (yes - 99.9% of the people on that show CAN’T sing!!!) - that line about the one-legged man just made me chuckle. It sums up everything about the pissed off contestants on that show that say they’ve all got talent and Idol has it all wrong… Amazing… Denial. Sad, sad confused people.

I’m still chuckling…

GITMO – The US military’s shorthand for a base in Cuba drives a wedge wider than a split infinitive.

“When did the notorious Guantanamo Bay Naval Base change to ‘Gitmo,’ a word that conjures up an image of a fluffy and sweet character from a Japanese anime show?” – Marcus W., St. Louis, Missouri.

COMBINED CELEBRITY NAMES – Celebrity duos of yore — BogCall (Bogart and Bacall), Lardy (Laurel and Hardy), and CheeChong (Cheech and Chong) – just got lucky.

“It’s bad enough that celebrities have to be the top news stories. Now we’ve given them obnoxious names such as ‘Bragelina,’ ‘TomKat’ and ‘Bennifer.’” – M. Foster, Port Huron, Michigan.

“It’s so annoying, idiotic and so lame and pathetic that it’s ‘lamethetic.’” – Ed of Centreville, Virginia.

AWESOME – Given a one-year moratorium in 1984, when the Unicorn Hunters banished it “during which it is to be rehabilitated until it means ‘fear mingled with admiration or reverence; a feeling produced by something majestic.” Many write to tell us there’s no hope and it’s time for “the full banishment.”

“The kind of tennis shoes you wear, no matter how cute, don’t fit the majestic design of the word.” – Leila Hill, Damascus, Maryland.

“That a mop, a deodorant or a dating service can be called ‘awesome’ demonstrates the limited vocabularies of the country’s copywriters.” – Tom Brinkmoeller, Orlando, Florida.

“Overused and meaningless.’ My mother was hit by a car.’ Awesome. ‘I just got my college degree.’ Awesome.” – Robert Bron, Pattaya, Chonburi, Thailand.

GONE/WENT MISSING – “It makes ‘missing’ sound like a place you can visit, such as the Poconos. Is the person missing, or not? She went there but maybe she came back. ‘Is missing’ or ‘was missing’ would serve us better.” – Robin Dennis, Flower Mound, Texas.

PWN or PWNED – Thr styff of lemgendz: Gamer defeats gamer, types in “I pwn you” rather than I OWN you.

“This word is just an overly used Internet typo. It has been overused to the point that people who play online games are using it in everyday speech.” – Tory Rowley, Corunna, Michigan.

NOW PLAYING IN THEATERS – Heard in movie advertisements. Where can we see that, again?

“How often do movies premiere in laundromats or other places besides theaters? I know that when I want to see a movie I think about going to a shoe store.” – Andrea May, Shreveport, Louisiana.

WE’RE PREGNANT – Grounded for nine months.

“Were men feeling left out of the whole morning sickness/huge belly/labor experience? You may both be expecting, but only one of you is pregnant.” – Sharla Hulsey, Sac City, Iowa.

“I’m sure any woman who has given birth will tell you that ‘WE’ did not deliver the baby.” – Marlena Linne, Greenfield, Indiana.

UNDOCUMENTED ALIEN – “If they haven’t followed the law to get here, they are by definition ‘illegal.’ It’s like saying a drug dealer is an ‘undocumented pharmacist.’” – John Varga, Westfield, New Jersey.

ARMED ROBBERY/DRUG DEAL GONE BAD – From the news reports. What degree of “bad” don’t we understand? Larry Lillehammer of Bonney Lake, Washington, asks, “After it stopped going well and good?”

TRUTHINESS – “This word, popularized by The Colbert Report and exalted by the American Dialectic Society’s Word of the Year in 2005 has been used up. What used to ring true is getting all the truth wrung out of it.” – Joe Grimm, Detroit, Michigan.

ASK YOUR DOCTOR – The chewable vitamin morphine of marketing.

“Ask your doctor if ‘fill in the blank’ is right for you! Heck, just take one and see if it makes you ‘fill in the blank’ or get deathly ill.” – R.C. Amundson, Oakville, Washington.

“I don’t think my doctor would appreciate my calling him after seeing a TV ad.” – Peter B. Liveright, Lutherville, Maryland.

CHIPOTLE – Smoked dry over medium heat.

“Prior to 2005 . . . a roasted jalapeno. Now we have a ‘chipotle’ burrito with ‘chipotle’ marinated meat, ‘chipotle’ peppers, sprinkled with a ‘chipotle’ seasoning and smothered in a ‘chipotle’ sauce. Time to give this word a rest.” – Rob Zeiger, Bristol, Pennsylvania.

i-ANYTHING – ‘e-Anything’ made the list in 2000. Geoff Steinhart of Sault Ste. Marie, Michigan, says tech companies everywhere have picked this apple to the core. “Turn on… tune in… and drop out.”

“Banish any word that starts with it. i am just tired of it. it’s getting old. – Brad Butler, Adrian, Michigan.

SEARCH – Quasi-anachronism. Placed on one-year moratorium.

“Might as well banish it. The word has been replaced by ‘google.’” – Michael Raczko, Swanton, Ohio.

HEALTHY FOOD – Point of view is everything.

Someone told Joy Wiltzius of Fort Collins, Colorado, that the tuna steak she had for lunch “sounded healthy.” Her reply: “If my lunch were healthy, it would still be swimming somewhere. Grilled and nestled in salad greens, it’s ‘healthful.’”

BOASTS – See classified advertisements for houses, says Morris Conklin of Lisboa, Portugal, as in “master bedroom boasts his-and-her fireplaces – never ‘bathroom apologizes for cracked linoleum,’ or ‘kitchen laments pathetic placement of electrical outlets.’”

List from Lake Superior State University